DUMB STUDENT DOES INDEED ASK STUPID QUESTION AFTER BEING NAIVELY REASSURED THIS IMPOSSIBLE

Hanky $panky

In a truly unforeseeable moment out of Intro Psych, a dumb student did indeed ask a stupid question despite being naively reassured this was impossible. 

At approximately 9:47 AM on Monday morning, first year student Edwin Schloon timidly raised his hand to interrupt the 430-person lecture as the professor was deep into discussing a B.F. Skinner experiment on operant conditioning. 

As no one had ever dared raise their hand in such a massive lecture, the professor was momentarily taken aback, pausing mid-sentence and looking askance at the intrepid learner before calling on him. A true augur, Edwin prefaced his question by saying that it was “probably a stupid question,” after which the professor gave a gentle smile and quickly reassured him that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question.”

Taking this encouragement far, far too seriously, Edwin hesitantly returned a slight smile before, indeed, launching into one of the dumbest, least relevant questions imaginable. Despite the professor’s increasingly quizzical expression midway through his rambling, run-on sentence on the ties between “political polarization and, uh, psychology,” Edwin soldiered on. At the end of the question — which was not so much of a question as Edwin trailing off when his train of obfuscated thought clearly lost any semblance of rounding the bend — the professor was left temporarily speechless. 

Quickly recovering, the professor glanced at her watch before suggesting that Edwin either try rephrasing the question or come find her after class. Edwin, woefully unable to take a hint, opted for the former. As he launched into a convoluted metaphor that included wildly unforced mentions of both the War of 1812 and Tiffany Trump, several students opted to pack up and leave the lecture hall.