TOP 5 CLUBS 2 JOIN

Pubelius

If there’s one thing Rumpus loves about the start of school, it’s pre-frosh. And no, pervert, not in a sexual, creepy way, but in a nostalgic, man-I-remember-when way. Rumpus was a pre-frosh too, once upon a time. We sympathize with all the potential Rumpbabies suffering from symptoms of freshman fever. 

One thing all pre-frosh will have to deal with is that weird period before classes start where you don’t know whether to keep doing the same extracurricular shit or do something you actually enjoy. The sheer number of options is overwhelming. The giant extracurricular fair (see you there, ;)) doesn’t really help alleviate that, either.

But Rumpus loves every potential Rumpbaby, so we did the dirty work for you! 

Proudly presenting the 2024-25 edition of…

RUMPUS’ TOP 5 CLUBS 2 JOIN

5. Gooners at Yale

Since its genesis in 1893, the Arsenal Football Club has been a dominant force in England’s Premier League. Arsenal boasts one of the largest (and loudest) fanbases in football/soccer history and has dubbed themselves — I shit you not — the Gooners. It’s important to note that this nickname came about in the 80s before ‘goon’ meant what it does today; Gooner is just a British bastardization of the plural for ‘gunner.’ Anywho, GAY boasts a heftily-sized intersectional membership consisting of anywhere from meme lords to Brits to soccer fans to queers to lowkey porn addicts. If one or more of these things apply to you, Rumpus suggests you consider GAY. 

4. Young Intersectional Feminist Futurists at Yale

Do you know what ‘yiffing’ is?  For the untainted and uninformed, it’s basically ‘gooning’ but for furries. YIFF @ Yale has absolutely nothing to do with any of that, but Rumpus liked the acronym, so it’s on this list. More importantly, however, are the core tenets undergirding YIFF @ Yale. Its mission is noble, all-encompassing, and almost insultingly straightforward. Like, wow, gender equality in the context of a technologically advanced civilization? Most people with functioning brains would be down with that. Rumpus has read enough Octavia Butler to get the picture, but if you haven’t, YIFF @ Yale may be right for you. 

3. Cards Against Humanity Haters (CAHH)

Let’s face it — Cards Against Humanity fucking blows. The content contained within the base game is deader than the deadest of beaten horses, and only nerds and/or creeps would ever purchase one of those goofy expansion packs. Like “The Ass Pack.” Yep, they really released that. Put simply, Cards Against Humanity turns humor into a quantifiable competition for people who aren’t funny. Whoever the fuck thought that was a good idea deserves to be chastised and shamed. Fortunately, some of Yale’s finest banded together over this sentiment to form CAHH. The club offers two primary things: 1.) Comedy training and consultation and 2.) Social environments to play card games that are actually good. This is the type of “third space” we need at this damn campus that doesn’t involve worshiping the Devil. Rumpus approves. 

2. White Men Asian Female Alliance (WMAFA)

Ever since the publication of Oxford University’s notorious psychological study titled “The New Suzie Wong: Normative Assumptions of White Male and Asian Female Relationships,” the public has never been more aware of the pervasive social phenomenon that is Asian women dating white men. It’s fucking everywhere. And hey, if that’s your thing, Rumpus isn’t gonna dog you. That’s totally chill; no “Oxford Study” comments here. But Rumpus doesn’t give a hoot about all that hubbub, so why is it on this list? Because y’all crackers need some culture, goddammit! Take your shoes off in the house! Always refuse gifts a minimum of three times before accepting them! Be polite! Get it through your thick nose-bridged skulls, you pasty fucks. If you need to date an Asian woman in order to not be a pale Aryan FREAK, so be it! Also, the food is insane. Free Bonchon Fridays and $7 Sushi Saturdays? Score!

1. The Yale Rumpus

Okay, okay, this is a cop-out. We admit. But come on now, this is literally the recruitment issue. It would be libel to not be at the top spot! So don’t go saying that Rumpus is only first because we couldn’t think of anything else. That’s cap. We really are the best. Just cum see for yourself ;)