THINGS YALE COULD BUY WITH THE 40.7 BILLION DOLLAR ENDOWMENT

TurkeyClubNoTomatoes

  • 8 exact replicas of The Imperial State Crown of the United Kingdom

  • Edon 

  • 3 tickets to Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour 

  • The countries of both Slovenia and Kyrgyzstan and also a Honda Civic Type R and an aftermarket muffler because fuck it why not

  • 46.5 Mona Lisas

  • 2 sandwiches at GHeav

  • New Van Cleef necklaces for all the Theta girls

  • 6 billion Geek Bars

  • A month of LEO’s coke supply

  • A Spring Fling committee that books artists people care about

  • Free tuition for 83 classes of students

  • Personalized cameos from the entire cast of Pitch Perfect for each member of TD

  • 450 tonnes of Loud Dream

  • A 673 year old sentient oak tree that dispenses invaluable wisdom

  • A sense of humor for The Record

  • Readers for the YDN

  • Journals for the Herald staff so they don’t publish their every thought

  • Every single major airport in the northeast

  • More writers for Rumpus

Yale Rumpus