| What He
Was Asked |
What He Responded |
What He Meant |
| “Do your
parents know about us?” |
“What do you mean, “us”? My dad
still thinks you’re my friend that went on spring break with me.” |
“No.” |
| “Are we
dating?” |
“Just because I put you on my
snap story doesn’t mean that we’re dating.” |
“No.” |
| “Why
don’t you ever text me back?” |
“I don’t believe in long
texts.” |
“I’m not trying to get
emotionally invested.” |
| “What
are we?” |
“Huh?” |
“Huh?” |
| “Can we
go out for dinner?” |
“Like Silliman?” |
“You’re not worth a trip to
Prime 16.” |
| “I’m a
linguistics major” |
“Oh, cool. I’m in econ.” |
“Show me what dat linguam do.” |
| “What
are you doing tonight?” |
“My roommate is out of town.” |
“Sex.” |
| “Who was
that on the phone?” |
“My mom.” |
“My ex.” |
| “That
one’s too real” |
What? “My mom?” |
He was genuinely confused. |
| “Are you
going to Woad’s tonight?” |
“Maybe.” |
“Yeah, I guess I’ll have sex
with you.” |
| “How do
you know my suitemate?” |
“I don’t remember.” |
“DFMO” |
| “Why are
you crying?” |
“I don’t want to talk about it.” |
Rumpus isn’t sure, but we’re
worried. |
| “What
residential college are you in?” |
“Ben Franklin.” |
“I don’t want to have sex with
you tonight” |
| “I’m
class of 2018; why do you ask?” |
“No reason.” |
“That’s five out of seven” |
| “Should
we go?” |
“Let’s stay for one more drink.” |
“I’m not confident enough in my
fragile masculinity to make a move yet.” |
| “Did you
actually just say that?” |
“I’m drunk?” |
“I’m not drunk enough to blame
this on how drunk I am.” |
| “Did you
just cum?” |
“No.” |
“Yes.” |
|
|
|
